Existential nihilism
I am somewhat of a nihilist. Sometimes I state I believe in something (such as values, morals) but then in the next moment I don't like to believe it at all. I mean, what use are they? I just go on living day to day and don't have to deal with that stuff anyway.
Existentialism basically means to me, that in the middle of the process of going about your day to day activities, that you basically come to the question: what is the point?
And then combine both existentialism and nihilism and there really is no point. Anything you can come up with would be totally arbitrary. As Jean Paul Satre said - "existence precedes essence".
But ultimately I think you have to reject nihilism as a whole because you have to give the universe meaning otherwise there is no point in doing anything. So the search for meaning is an endless quest that will lead you down many false roads, but it has to be done anyway.